Recently I was asked if I sigh. I was taken aback because I had never been asked that question and had never even thought about it. She went on to explain that she sensed I needed to sigh, that my body needed it. She suggested that I even make a practice out of it. Sure enough I felt much better after I took a big sigh. Upon reflection, I realized that I had been conditioned to think that sighing was rude and that it meant that I was doing something wrong. As much as I had focused on the healing of the nervous system in my practice I had never thought of the release or relief that comes from this physical response. I started to sigh on purpose for the next couple of weeks.

It felt great once I took the judgement out of doing it.

I researched the science and it turns out that sighing isn’t just something that happens when we’re emotional. Much like yawning, it’s a fundamental life sustaining reflex. We sigh twelve times an hour on average. Isn’t that wild? We all have a sigh control center in our brain that switches on when we need to get this extra breath to our lungs. This function is outside of our regulatory system which means when it’s turned on we are basically using a reset button. Sighing not only opens our deflated lungs, it’s an effective response to stress because it gives access to our body’s stress relief mechanism. Studies have shown that when disturbing pictures are shown to participants taking a sigh was more effective in reseting the nervous system than even yogic inspired breathing techniques.

When I started to incorporate sighing in my day it felt good. I didn’t realize that I was holding so much stress in my body. I decided to pair it with a normal activity like doing the dishes so I could start to sigh on a regular basis. My husband quickly took notice and asked me if I was okay. I shared that I had been directed to sigh more. He told me that he had never heard me audibly sigh. Which led me to ask the question: had I been suppressing sighing for the years I had been with him? My guess is yes. When I was a child it wasn’t safe to display sadness or disappointment. I learned to hide my true feelings so I wouldn’t be perceived as ungrateful or weak. I now know that I was holding myself to an unattainable standard.

Since I started allowing myself to take a deep breath and sigh, I have become more tender toward myself. I encourage you to consider adding a practice of sighing as a tool to reset. Giving ourselves permission to have a very human experience is how we start to recover.

—Kristina Dennis, life coach